He loosened it.
That's correct. You recall all that talk during the campaign about his hands being so small. I am sure I am not alone in thinking that they were somehow calling into question the size of Trump's manhood. Marco Rubio made the first jab, and then the democrats and their pundits jumped on board. All this time it appeared that they were taking a juvenile approach and making dick jokes at his expense. We've all done it. Why should they be any different? I can't help but to chuckle at who is having Weiner problems now.
How refreshing to know that what they were really doing was foreshadowing their incomparable ability to predict economic fortune. The small hands thing was in reference to their knowledge that this lowly Billionaire, who operated in the real world of free market capitalism, would continue his ineptitude in the area of money and, setting aside partisan differences, Barrack Obama would, at the last moment, give the economy a little run under hot water and a helpful twist. That way, Donald could come in and look like a hero. Probably in an effort to continue projecting to the rest of the world what a magnificent country we were and to pave the way to world peace and finally deserve that Nobel Peace Prize. What a gentleman number 44 was!
Please set all obvious, logical questions aside for only a little while longer. I am nearly through highlighting Mr. Obama's statesmanship. I also ask that you set aside his apparent willingness to restrain the power of this economy for all 8 years. To be fair, we should not forget the horrible economy that he inherited. This definitely played a part, and he made sure we knew the insurmountable difficulties it caused which thwarted him at every turn. Right through his second term.
I also ask that you cast aside any memory of banker bailouts, quantitative easing, doubling of the national debt, a 50% rise in use of food stamps and being the first president to never see economic growth rise over 3% under their watch. Most importantly, you need to ignore that during his terms we have never seen such a massive amount of money drift into the hands of the super rich. Any one of these pieces of evidence would chip away at Obama's credibility on the economy. Looking at them in their entirety could make you question his integrity and, quite possibly feel he was full of shit or even lying. Much like the person who, after struggling with a pickle jar, and handing it to the next person, watches in disbelief as they effortlessly make that seal go pop in their normal sized hands. Making the claim that you made it possible not only sounds ridiculous, seems unlikely and is not provable. Nobody believes you because you sound like a whiny little bitch. Whatever you do, at all costs, never question his leadership simply because he gives the illusion of breaking the cardinal rule of taking all the credit and passing all the blame.
We now open the floor to your obvious, logical questions. One rule we have is that you must do so without exposing any form of hypocrisy. Now is the time, so please ask away..................
The "Slot Machine" explanation.
Although the name is more a metaphor than explanation number one, this is actually more plausible. Anyone who has played the slots has either firsthand or anecdotal experience with the phenomenon. It goes something like this. You sit sown at a machine. Every indication is there telling you that it is the right time, right place. You have total faith that you can plug as many quarters into the machine because the jackpot is just around the corner. (Having the inside information that the machine is rigged doesn't hurt either. If you know what I mean.) So you pour everything you have into that machine. Enough time passes by that the inevitable happens and you are called away. Perhaps because of a distraction. Perhaps the call of nature. Maybe you felt a certain civic duty to vote. You even take precautions by having someone save your chair. You pick someone who, at first glance, sends chills up and down the spine of anyone who comes within 10 feet of that machine. You make a deal with them that when you win, they will benefit. Heck, you even joke around that they will get that very same, corrupt machine. Ha ha ha, good times are had by all. You would even be willing to make jokes about such a thing on national television if the opportunity arose.
Unfortunately, that trusted stranger isn't able to carry through on your original deal. Turns out the pit-boss had pulled them away for questioning. They, eventually, let them go, regardless of some of their questionable behavior. Now, Imagine your surprise when the two of you get back to the machine just in time to see a total stranger sit down, and, against all odds, win on the first pull. Of course you tell that person that you are the rightful winner and that, in spite of your having spent nearly eight hours not winning, they should give you the jackpot as you have to be on your way in five minutes.
Who would be able to blame Obama for saying it was he who made that all possible. I mean, after all the entrepreneurs learned the truth that they weren't the ones who built their businesses, it only made sense that President Barack Obama reveal that it was he, Barry Soetero, himself who gave life to the world's largest economy.
Now, let's play this out. Just for fun and stuff. Come on. It'll be fun. Starts with the whole rigged machine thing. So, and this next part is brilliant, you know that there will probably be an investigation since the stakes were so big and the odds so long. You instantly point your fingers at this guy and blame him for being in cahoots with the mob. You know that you won't see that jackpot, but you feel it is likely that he will do the time. At least he won't get the money that you were so invested in stealing.
Considering that executive order that Trump just passed the day after the tax plan was voted in, this second explanation would be highly unfortunate. You know the order that creates a national emergency to deal with corruption, fraud, human rights violations and protecting the very economy of the United States? The very executive order that allows seizure of assets of those in violation of things like treason, human trafficking, bank fraud, illegally using foundations for slush funds and to launder money? Man, if that was the case, all the bankers that caused the implosion in 2008, any of the politicians who knowingly went along with it and anyone who messed with the election would soon be in a heap of trouble since that order has to be executed within a 55 day period. Not to mention the human traffickers.
In Closing
Whether the credit goes to Obama is in the eye of the beholder. I will say that, at first glance, those who are willing to forego Obama's track record in order to give him credit are hopelessly partisan, and are under the impression that all we needed was another four years to see the glorious fruition of his brand Keynesian economics. Please, for the sake of your future, and God forbid, your children, refrain from voting. If this is an impossibility, I ask that you take a step back, stop believing the fear mongering, and realize that the previous 8 years contain the worst economic disaster the majority of our population has ever experienced. You made it through that. Imagined fears aside, things are looking up.
Now, to be clear, I am not completely ready to hand President Trump the credit for saving the economy at the moment. There are some fundamentals that indicate that we are not out of the woods. I hope and pray that the beginning of these improvements we are witnessing, continue. I do find it curious that a palpable energy seemed to have started rolling very near to November of 2016, which as we all know was right around the same time as Trump being elected. I am also keenly aware that correlation is not causation. I also feel that, at best, a President is only able to partially bolster the economy through policies that are in alignment with free market, or constrain the economy if those policies are not in alignment. Tax overhaul, re-negotiations, and streamlining bureaucracies by treating the government as the corporation it is, seem to be steps in the right direction. The biggest factor of the economy is out of the control of government. Simply put, you can't legislate people into getting off their asses. That would be socialism. And I am not about to start talking about Bernie Sanders.
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